Laugh Out Loud (<-- working title)

[westcoastjunkie]

If you think you're having a bad day...

http://glumbert.com/wii/view.php?name=baddayoffice

[SHORTYJOY]

Nice- I liked the old man with the paper airplanes. My boss at my old job was on the other side of my cube- it would have been fun to throw my monitor his way!

[westcoastjunkie]

"Out of Office" Automatic Email Replies:

1. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over...)

4. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

5. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

6. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as "Lucille" instead of Brian.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

[Kelly]

"Out of Office" Automatic Email Replies:

1. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over...)

4. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

5. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

6. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as "Lucille" instead of Brian.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.


Ok...I read #5 and laughed out loud at my desk! lOl...Thanks for posting these!! :tonguesmilie:

[Scott S.]

3. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over...)

Now that sounds like exactly the sort of thing my Grandfather would have done... and then he'd have blackmailed the guilty into buying him lunch for a week to keep quiet about it. Tongue Out

[westcoastjunkie]

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
-- Henny Youngman


"Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein."
-- Joe Theismann


"If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect."
-- Ted Turner

[whipkitten]

Thank you for this. I REALLY needed a smile! :)

[westcoastjunkie]

Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August 29th 2008

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM


Class 1: How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3: Is it Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor.
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5: Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6: Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7: Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8: Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9: Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost.
Real Life Testimonials
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM. Location to be determined (<-- extra funny)

Class 10: Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturdays at Noon, 2 hours.

Class 11: Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and Role-Playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks: Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14: The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.